28 Things To Do in Cincinnati This Week (Dec. 11-17)

WEDNESDAY 11

EVENT: Scrantonicity
Is your office having a “Secret Santa” this year? Instead of a nutcracker or a teapot (unless it’s for your crush), you can say “Happy birthday, Jesus” and blow your co-worker’s mind by giving them tickets to “Scrantonicity,” a The Office-themed holiday party/trivia night at the Ludlow Garage. The Dunder Mifflin-style shindig promises Office trivia, Office-inspired cocktails, stand-up comedians and a DJ. They’ll also have their very own Dunder Mifflin Office Olympics and a special Dundie Awards ceremony, where you can “win” your very own Dundie (by paying a little more for your ticket, which really puts into question the integrity of the whole Dundie awards process). There will also be games and an Office costume contest with a pretty sweet prize. According to the event description: “Whether you dress up as Dwight, or as Jim dressing up as Dwight, or just want to enjoy the party, attendees can enter the Grand Prize Sweepstakes, where the winner will be awarded a trip for two to Los Angeles.” No word if Scrantonicity II — Kevin’s kick-ass Police cover band — will perform, but one can always dream. 7 p.m. Wednesday, Dec. 11. $15; $29.99 for admission and a Dundie; $39.99 for admission, a Dundie and a goodie bag. Ludlow Garage, 342 Ludlow Ave., Clifton, ludlowgaragecincinnati.com.
Photo: Youtube Screenshot

WEDNESDAY 11

ATTRACTION: The Christmas Ranch
Take a drive up to Morrow to visit the Christmas Ranch, a winter wonderland that features one million lights synchronized to music. Drive along an animated, illuminated route or park the car to visit the Christmas village with seven shops, a bakery and cafe, train and wagon rides and a toy factory. A portion of proceeds benefits St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, the Little Miami Food Pantry, Neediest Kids of All and Shriners Hospital for children. Through Dec. 23. $20 per carload. 3205 S. Waynesville Road, Morrow, thechristmasranch.com.
Photo: Thechristmasranch.com

WEDNESDAY 11

MUSIC: The Get Up Kids Perform at Southgate House Revival
The Get Up Kids bring Emo/Pop Punk to the Southgate House Revival in support of 'Problems,' their first album in eight years. Wednesday, Dec. 11. $20 in advanced, $24 day of show. Southgate House Revival, 111 E. 6th St, Newport
Photo: Shawn Brackbill

WEDNESDAY 11

ATTRACTION: Christmas Nights of Lights
Coney Island transforms into a drive-thru Christmas show during the 10-week-long Christmas Nights of Lights. Enjoy the warmth of your car while lights manipulated to resemble dancing candy canes, glowing snowmen, colorful tunnels and giant holiday trees are synchronized to Christmas tunes both classic and new available via your car radio. The two-and-a-half-mile long display features more than one million lights. The show begins at dusk and runs until 10 p.m. daily through Jan. 5, 2020. $6 per person. Coney Island, 6201 Kellogg Ave., California, coneyislandpark.com.
Photo: Provided by Coney Island

WEDNESDAY 11

ONSTAGE: Hello, Dolly!
Touted as a must-see revival of the original 1964 musical of the same name, Hello, Dolly! is a four-time Tony Award winner that lives up to its predecessor. Based on the book by Michael Stewart and paying tribute to the original choreography by Gower Champion, Hello, Dolly! tells the story of sassy, strong-willed matchmaker and widow Dolly Gallagher Levi as she tries to find a mate for a wealthy Yonkers grump. Famously starring Carol Channing on Broadway and Barbra Streisand in the film of the same name, it’s a romantic rollick that Rolling Stone magazine calls “a musical comedy dream.” Through Dec. 15. Tickets start at $30. Aronoff Center, 650 Walnut St., Downtown, cincinnatiarts.org.
Photo: Julieta Cervantes

WEDNESDAY 11

ONSTAGE: Puffs, or seven increasingly eventful years at a certain school of magic and magic
Know Theatre presents the tongue-in-cheek Puffs, or seven increasingly eventful years at a certain school of magic and magic, a wizarding world tale about a house of magical doofuses and a hopeful hero. Through Dec. 21. Tickets start at $10. Know Theatre of Cincinnati, 1120 Jackson St., Downtown, knowtheatre.com.
Photo: Mikki Schaffner

THURSDAY 12

EVENT: House Party at the Taft
The Taft Museum of Art is hosting an after-hours house party with a celebration theme. Partnering with the Cincinnati Young Black Professionals group, expect ornament and card crafting, hot spiked apple cider and a cash bar, a preview of the Taft’s Journey to Freedom: Art Quilts by Cynthia Lockhart and access to Antique Christmas. Journey to Freedom: Art Quilts by Cynthia Lockhartfeatures colorful fiber art and textile creations that “encourages people to more deeply understand the diversity of people, cultures, and beauty in the world around them,” says the museum. 5-8 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 12. Free admission. Taft Museum of Art, 316 Pike St., Downtown, taftmuseum.org.
Photo: Taft Museum

THURSDAY 12

ONSTAGE: 2 Pianos, 4 Hands
2 Pianos, 4 Hands is an entertaining tale of piano playing and acting at the Playhouse in the Park. Through Jan. 5. Tickets start at $30. Cincinnati Playhouse in the Park, 962 Mt. Adams Circle, Mt Adams, cincyplay.com.
Photo: Mikki Schaffner

THURSDAY 12

MUSIC: Chevelle at Bogart’s
Hard Rock trio Chevelle plays Bogart’s. The band's Dec. 12 concert at Bogart's will be one of its final dates with bassist Dean Bernardini. 6:30 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 12. $38. Bogart’s, 2621 Vine St., Clifton, bogarts.com.
Photo: Christian Lantry

THURSDAY 12

EVENT: Art+Feminism Wikipedia Edit-A-Thon
Surprise: There’s a gender gap in Wikipedia content. But international campaign Art+Feminism is out to close that divide via events like the Wikipedia Edit-A-Thon, which aims to “improve content on women and the arts on Wikipedia, and to encourage women to participate in the online encyclopedia,” says an event description. Bring a laptop to the Cincinnati Art Museum — and ideas for Wikipedia entries that need to be updated or created, if you have them — and listen to a brief tutorial on how to update posts before you begin. All gender identities and expressions are encouraged to participate. It’s also a perfect time to check out the museum’s current Women Breaking Boundaries, which displays works from the permanent collection created by females from the 17th century to modern times — including Georgia O’Keeffe, Mary Cassatt and Chiyo Mitsuhisa — and encourages visitors to “think critically about gender, representation, and diversity and how that translates to the museum’s collecting practices and gallery installations,” says the CAM. A gallery map highlighting works by women artists and works with strong female subjects is available at the museum entrance. Women Breaking Boundaries is part of ArtsWave’s Power of Her initiative and is on view through April 12, 2020. 6-8 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 12. Free; RSVP not required. Cincinnati Art Museum, 953 Eden Park Drive, Mount Adams, cincinnatiartmuseum.org.
Photo: Cincinnati Art Museum

THURSDAY 12

MUSIC: George Winston at Ludlow Garage
On the precipice of his 70th birthday later this month, renowned pianist George Winston has once again provided glorious evidence of his astonishing ability to inhabit and reinterpret the work of others with the ears of a composer and the hands of a genius at Ludlow Garage. 8:30 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 12. $25-$85. Ludlow Garage, 342 Ludlow Ave., Clifton, ludlowgaragecincinnati.com.
Photo: Todd V. Wolfson

THURSDAY 12

COMEDY: Jon Reep
Long before he scored top prize in last year’s season of Last Comic Standing, Jon Reep was just a redneck from tiny Hickory, North Carolina, which the locals call “the furniture capital of the world.” “(And that’s) not including all the stuff on the front porches,” says Reep. “Even our one homeless guy has a nice living room set.” As a broadcasting major at North Carolina State, Reep stumbled into comedy in the stands at a Carolina Panthers game. During timeouts, his dancing attracted the team’s mascot, who coaxed him on to the field to boogie in front of fans. Their cheers turned to boos when the cops hauled him out of the stadium. These days, Reep still feeds off his Southern roots when he talks about topics he knows best: beer, football and growing up in rural America. 7:30 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 12; 7:30 and 10 p.m. Friday, Dec. 13; 7 and 10 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 14; 7 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 15. $12-$45. Liberty Funny Bone, 7518 Bales St., Liberty Township, liberty.funnybone.com.
Photo: Jonreep.com

THURSDAY 12

FILM: Fantastic Fungi: The Magic Beneath Us
Portobello, cremini, shiitake — there are hundreds more mighty mushroom varieties than these, and they’re capable of greater feats than simply adding umami to your dinner plate. Connected to every earth-bound organism through a vast underground network, the humble ‘shroom has the power to feed, medicate, solve ecological problems and alter human consciousness itself. Narrated by Brie Larson (yes, that Brie), Fungi: The Magic Beneath Us unveils the wonders of fungi’s unbound potential with the aid of expert mycologists, farmers, physicians, ecologists and writers. If nothing else, go for director Louie Schwartzberg’s stunning time-lapse cinematography of alienesque fungi emerging from forest floors in bursts of technicolor and texture. 7 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 12; 5 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 29. $10.25 adult; $7.75 senior/child. Esquire Theatre, 320 Ludlow Ave., Clifton, esquiretheatre.com.
Photo: Florian Van Duyn/Unsplash

FRIDAY 13

ATTRACTIONS: WinterFest at Kings Island
WinterFest has returned to Kings Island for the 2019 holiday season, transforming the park into a nostalgic winter wonderland. Kings Island’s International Street will be decked out with holiday lights and displays, featuring a Snow Flake Lake ice skating rink under the Christmas tree-styled Eiffel Tower. In addition to strolling carolers and holiday shows, you can stop by an artisan village selling holiday crafts, indulge in booze-infused hot beverages, watch ice carvers in the “Action Ice Zone,” take a horse-drawn carriage ride and stop by Blitzen’s Hot Beverage Bar for some blue hot chocolate. Nineteen of the park’s rides will be open to enjoy, including Mystic Timbers and Kings Mills Antique Autos, with plenty of vignettes in between — like the oversized Candy Cane Lane — for family-friendly photo ops. Through Dec. 31. Tickets start at $27.99. Kings Island, 6300 Kings Island Drive, Mason, visitkingsisland.com.
Photo: Megan Waddel

FRIDAY 13

ONSTAGE: Every Christmas Story Ever Told (And Then Some!)
Cincinnati Shakespeare Company’s high-octane holiday romp Every Christmas Story Ever Told (And Then Some!) is back onstage with your favorite festive characters and a boozy Santa. The comic tale begins with a production of A Christmas Carol before spiraling into “beloved holiday classics,” which are retold with irreverent wit. The cast sends up the likes of It’s a Wonderful Life, Frosty, Rudolph, Charlie Brown and more. It’s a jolly 100-minute jaunt, but Cincy Shakes does warn the show is not for “any theatergoer who still believes in Santa.” Through Dec. 29. Tickets start at $30. Cincinnati Shakespeare Company, 1195 Elm St., Over-the-Rhine, cincyshakes.com.
Photo: Cincyshakes.com

FRIDAY 13

SPORTS: Cincinnati Cyclones Star Wars Weekend
May the force be with the Cyclones this weekend as they pay tribute to the 20th anniversary of Episode I - The Phantom Menace (hopefully sans Jar Jar Binks). The team will be wearing special Star Wars jerseys on Friday (vs. the Kalamazoo Wings) and Saturday (vs. the Toledo Walleye), which will be auctioned off after Saturday’s game. Friday also happens to be 513 Friday, with $5 craft beers, $1 sodas and $3 cheeseburgers. Find humans dressed like Star Wars characters for photo ops. You can also purchase a four-pack family ticket deal which includes four lightsabers ($77 total). 7:30 p.m. puck drop Friday, Dec. 13 and Saturday, Dec. 14. Tickets start at $18. Heritage Bank Center, 100 Broadway St., Downtown, cycloneshockey.com.
Photo: Cycloneshockey.com

FRIDAY 13

EVENT: Holiday Pops Featuring Megan Hilty
Broadway and TV star Megan Hilty (Wicked, Smash) hits the Music Hall stage with the Cincinnati Pops for an evening of classic Christmas tunes. There will be favorite holiday songs, supported by characters in costume, choirs and even Santa himself. 8 p.m. Friday, Dec. 13; 2 and 8 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 14; 2 and 7 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 15. Tickets start at $25 for adults and $15 kids. Music Hall, 1241 Elm St., Over-the-Rhine, cincinnatisymphony.org.
Photo: Hailey Bollinger

FRIDAY 13

EVENT: Winter Market at Fountain Square and Ugly Sweater Party
Eat, drink and be merry at the Winter Market on Fountain Square. With a changing list of vendors, shop for holiday gifts in the heart of Cincinnati while snacking on food and beverages (even alcoholic ones). To work off the calories, ice skate at Fountain Square’s ice rink. When you’re tired, visit the artist huts and cross items off your Christmas list. On Friday, Dec. 13, there’s also an Ugly Sweater Party from 7-10 p.m. Wear your best worst sweater around the ice rink while a DJ spins tunes. Bring a gently used coat to donate to a coat drive for free skate rental (usually $4). 4-9 p.m. Fridays; noon-9 p.m. Saturdays; noon-5 p.m. Sundays. Through Dec. 22. Free; ice skating is $6 admission. Fountain Square, 520 Vine St., Downtown, myfountainsquare.com.
Photo: Facebook/FountainSquare

SATURDAY 14

EVENT: Mount Adams Reindog Parade
Is your canine imbued with the Christmas spirit? Dress your pet in their finest and most creative holiday gear to participate in the 30th-annual Mount Adams Reindog Parade. The festive procession features dressed-up dogs competing in multiple categories including best small dog costume, best large dog costume and best dog/owner look alike. Prizes will be awarded for the top looks. 12:30 p.m. registration Dec. 14; parade begins at 2 p.m. There is a suggested donation to the SPCA to register. 1055 Saint Paul Place, Mount Adams, spcacincinnati.org.
Photo: Emerson Swoger

SATURDAY 14

EVENT: Cincinnati SantaCon
Ho, ho, ho. The annual hibernal holiday pub crawl (or horror show, depending on whether or not you appreciate 10,000 drunk Santas on the streets) known as Cincinnati SantaCon is back — and it’s bigger than ever. Last year, those dressed like Santa and other Christmasy characters met at the “North Pole” and embarked on a costumed group pub crawl around downtown Cincinnati and Over-the-Rhine. This year, drinking destinations in Northside, Covington and Mount Adams have joined in the fray. (Note: Other years have also included stops in Mount Adams, just not last year.) More than 50 venues across the area are participating. Registration gets you a SantaCon wristband, an itinerary with official bar stops, access to food and drink deals and entry into a raffle. It also includes a donation to benefit The Cure Starts Now. If you feel like you’re ready to don a red suit and imbibe a night’s worth of milk and cookies surrounded by up to 10,000 Santas, check out a tip sheet online for how to be your best Santa with lyrics to songs the group will be singing. Remember, this is about the holiday spirit, so don’t drink and drive and don’t be a dick and mess with cops, kids, security or other Santas. Noon-midnight Saturday, Dec. 14. $15. Pick up your wristband at JACK Casino, 1000 Broadway St., Pendleton, cincinnatisantacon.com.
Photo: Megan Waddel