21 Weird Traditions Only True Cincinnatians Will Understand

Encountering goats, Sausage Queens and plenty of beer at Bockfest

German monks used to drink bock beer instead of food during the Lenten fast. And while many folk may hesitate to spend 40 days ingesting nothing but alcohol (though, if that’s your jam, we certainly aren’t judging), you can still get a taste of the monastery tradition at Cincinnati’s annual Bockfest, a weekend-long fest that honors both beer and the coming of spring. It kicks off with a Friday parade led by a goat pulling a keg and the reigning Sausage Queen — a gender-neutral pageant-winner honored for their personality, presence and talent (the only real requirement is the ability to carry a symbolic tray of bockwurst). The rest of the weekend’s activities include historic brewery tours, beer drinking, the Sausage Queen/Beard Baron finals, live music, a 5k and plenty of German food.
Photo: Paige Deglow

Eating every goetta concoction known to man at Glier’s Goettafest

Goetta, a German-inspired sausage and pinhead oat mixture, is one of the only foods that might be more of a Cincinnati staple than our chili. Glier’s Goettafest is where Cincinnatians and goetta-devotees from across the nation can celebrate their favorite breakfast food by enjoying it in a variety of creative ways. Think goetta donut sandwiches, goetta brownies, goetta mac and cheese… the list goes on. Attendees can expect live music, games, plenty of food and even a goetta vending machine. And for the first time ever, this year's fest took over the Newport riverfront for two full weekends: July 25-28 and Aug. 1-4.
Photo: Holden Mathis

Setting up camp at 6 a.m. along the flood wall to watch the WEBN Fireworks

Launched more than four decades ago to celebrate the 10th anniversary of radio station WEBN, this Labor Day bash officially signals the end of summer with a series of colorful explosions in the sky. In addition to food, music, major traffic jams and one of the largest firework displays in the Midwest set to music from 102.7FM (you are 100-percent guaranteed to hear “Smoke on the Water”), festgoers can expect to see half a million other humans and a river full of boats. (People sometimes start setting up blankets a day early to claim primo space on both sides of the river.)
Photo: Riverfest

Seeing costumed dachshunds run real fast during the annual Running of the Wieners

Considered the kickoff event to Oktoberfest Zinzinnati, the race happens in September. Each dachshund, dressed in a hot dog costume, races 75 feet from the starting line to their owner. Then, the winning dog of each 10-dog heats races in one last race to determine real winner (or wiener, buh dum). First, second and third place prizes are awarded. It costs to participate, but it’s free to watch.
Photo: Emerson Swoger

Getting real weird and real patriotic at the Northside Fourth of July Parade

Northside takes the Fourth of July very seriously, having hosted a carnival and parade in some form since the 1980s. The annual Northside Fourth of July Parade is an all-out celebration of independence, community, small business and individuality. Expect to see creative handmade floats from vintage stores, bars and community organizations; local marching bands; drill teams; every local politician you’ve ever heard of; ladies dancing with lawn chairs; guys dancing with power tools; and other unexpected and delightful displays of pride and spirit.
Photo: Hailey Bollinger

Eating entirely too much food at the Taste of Cincinnati

It’s a long weekend stuffed with the most delicious food the city has to offer. Over 50 of Cincinnati’s best restaurants take over Fifth Street for the oldest free culinary festival in the nation. Visitors savor their food alongside live performances spread across five stages and other tasty entertainments.
Photo: Holden Mathis

Watching the brave souls race in the Cardboard Boat Regatta

Cardboard and water are not the most perfect pair (Pennywise taught us that). Their union tends to end up creating a soggy, pulpy brownish mess. But the Cardboard Boat Museum in New Richmond, Ohio flies in the face of that logic. The city is home to the International Cardboard Boat Regatta, which takes place every August. Teams of one to 10 intrepid humans build boats out of cardboard and assorted other supplies and race down the Ohio River to win awards in categories like fastest boat, most creative design, peoples’ choice and the Titanic Award for the most dramatic sinking. The Cardboard Boat Museum chronicles the history of this unusual race through photos and displays. See replicas of a Delta Queen steamboat, a John Deere tractor, a Viking ship and other cardboard creations or take a class on building a vessel to orchestrate your own spectacular sinking.
Photo via Great Cardboard Boat Regatta Facebook

Partaking in the World’s Largest Chicken Dance, every damn year

Oktoberfest Zinzinnati is the nation’s largest feier of authentic German food, music and beer with an estimated 575,000 festgoers each September eating an estimated 87,542 metts, 400 pickled pigs feet and 64,000 sauerkraut balls, among other gluttonous activities. Odd traditions include the majestic Running of the Wieners dachshund races, brat-eating competitions and the world’s largest Chicken Dance, which has been led by celebrities like Weird Al Yankovic, Nick and Drew Lachey and George Takei.
Photo via facebook.com/oktoberfestzinzinnati

Cheering, partaking in or avoiding the Flying Pig Marathon

The flying pig is a ubiquitous Cincinnati symbol, evoking the animal that earned the city its nickname: "Porkopolis.” But for one weekend a year, the flying pig stands for working off pounds, not putting them on. Created in 1997, the Flying Pig Marathon draws people from around the world to make it through a 26.2-mile urban course at their own speed. The race, which winds through Cincinnati, Covington, Newport, Mariemont, Fairfax and Columbia Township, is a qualifier for the Boston Marathon and sees upward of 40,000 participants annually.
Photo: Kellie Coleman

Watching dressed-up doggos strut their stuff in the Mount Adams Reindog Parade

Dog = man’s best friend. Reindeer = Santa’s transportation. Dogs dressed up as reindeer = freakishly adorable. Parading your dressed-up best friend for all to see? Now that’s what the Christmas season is all about. The Mount Adams Reindog Parade, which happens every year in December, has given pooch owners a chance to do just that for 30 years. Prizes are awarded to the best small dog (25 pounds and smaller), best large dog (over 25 pounds), best group dogs and best dog and owner look alike.
Photo: Emerson Swoger

Praying the steps at Holy Cross-Immaculata Church

It’s a tradition that at 12:01 a.m. on Good Friday, people begin to climb the 94 steps up from the street level to Mount Adams’ Holy-Cross Immaculata Parish and pray the Rosary. Climb the steps at least once just for the view. You don’t have to be Catholic to participate and the parish has a helpful FAQ online.
Photo via facebook.com/HCIchurch/

Watching humans catapult themselves down a hill on a Big Wheel bike during Pendleton’s Danger Wheel

Pendleton’s Danger Wheel, basically a chance to get drunk and drive a Big Wheel down a hill, happens in July. Teams of three — including “one ballsy driver that is willing to risk life and limb” — will race competition-approved Big Wheels through two blocks of Pendleton, pitting driver against driver in a final downhill battle to the finish line. . It costs to compete, but spectators can watch it all unfold for free while indulging in offerings from local brewers and food trucks.
Photo: Holden Mathis

Playing cornhole tournaments at grad parties or your local brewery

Sometimes called baggo or bag toss, cornhole (the right way to say it) is the official pastime of dads everywhere in Cincinnati. The party game was purportedly developed in the West Side, many years ago, though its origins are disputed. Regardless of where it began, cornhole is everywhere in Cincinnati. Whether you go to a graduation party, a brewery, a camping trip or a tailgating party, cornhole will show up. And you will play.
Photo: Hailey Bollinger

Playing hookie on Red's Opening Day Parade

When baseball season arrives in Cincinnati, it’s time to air out your Reds gear and practice your fake cough. Opening Day might not be an official local holiday, but we take our season opener pretty damn seriously with the Findlay Market Opening Day Parade. The annual celebration begins promptly at noon and steps off from the market, led by an honorary grand marshal and some 200 other businesses and groups — local politicians, the Budweiser Clydesdales, high school bands, etc. — walking, marching, biking, driving and operating floats down Race and Fifth streets, ending at the Taft Theatre. The Reds are the nation’s oldest professional baseball team, and this historic parade basically shuts the city down for the day, so call into work (if your boss is even there) and get ready to buy some peanuts and Cracker Jacks — and beer and hot dogs and maybe nachos in a Reds helmet — and spend Opening Day reveling in America’s favorite pastime.
Photo: Paige Deglow

Avoiding the massive crowd of drunken, stumbling Santas at the annual Cincinnati SantaCon

’Twas roughly around Christmas, and all through the streets, Santas were crawling for alcohol treats. With 40-plus stops, this annual pub crawl sees more than 5,000 Santa-clad adults converging in the heart of the city before making their way to The Banks, spreading Christmas cheer (depending on who you may ask) along the way. Proceeds go toward The Cure Starts Now.
Photo: Megan Waddel

Putting plastic in the Ohio River during the Rubber Duck Regatta

The Freestore Foodbank hosts its annual Rubber Duck Regatta ahead of the end-of-summer Riverfest/WEBN Fireworks, dropping as many as 200,000 yellow duckies from the Purple People Bridge into the Ohio River in a race to benefit the foodbank (buy a duck, possibly win a car).
Photo: Freestore Foodbank

Hiding from Krampus at the Germania Society Christkindlmarkt

Krampus is an evil and horned, black-furred Christmas creature that gives naughty German children coal (and, in some versions of the story, carries particularly bad Kinder into the woods). Several Krampuses visit the Germania Society’s Christkindlmarkt, a recreation of an authentic Bavarian-style Christmas market at Germania Park, to teach — but not terrify — kids every year. While there, check out the rest of the market, where you’ll find German music, German music, German food (dill pickle soup, spiced gluhwein, strudels, cream puffs, etc.) and imported German gifts.
Photo: Germania Society of Cincinnati

Getting way too sweaty during the Straight Street Hill Climb

The .36 miles of Straight Street in Clifton is one of the city’s steepest inclines. The run was started in 1976 by the Clifton Track and according to their website, the climb is “two minutes of self-inflicted torture.” The climb, which happens in November, is compiled into three events: a running race, a bike race and a duathlon. Need tips to run it? Keep breathing and don’t pass out. Past runners recommended drinking cold Weidemanns beer after the race. All the proceeds from the event benefit the Cincinnati Soap Box Derby.
Photo via facebook.com/StraightStreetHC/

Shooting eagles, drinking beer and eating German favorites at Schützenfest

Translated as “The Marksman’s Festival,” Schützenfest began in the 15th century when, according to the legend, a German marksman shot an eagle that attacked a child. When German immigrants settled in Cincinnati, they brought the traditional fest with them, holding the first Schützenfest here in 1866. Today, the Kolping Society continues the tradition with a weekend-long event in July that includes a competition for the shooting of a hand-carved eagle, a bier dash and authentic German food.
Photo: Kolping Society

Experiencing one of the largest, most innovative light and art events in the nation: BLINK

After a hugely successful pilot event, the art and light festival will return for a second run in October 2019. BLINK 2019 will span 30 blocks and cross the Ohio River with large-scale projection mapping, murals, interactive light sculptures, live entertainment and the centerpiece: the Roebling Bridge will be brought to life with light, sound and color for the extravagant fest. This year will also feature a live concert by Alternative Rock band Grouplove, well-known for their songs "Tongue Tied" and "Ways to Go."
Photo: Hailey Bollinger